Shushed

A lifetime spent fighting silence is exhausting , it's more exhausting when you realize the fight wasn't even necessary. What is it that controls our voice ? Our metaphorical soul's voice and our physical human voice?

We come out into the world screaming , thrust into a body , confined by flesh and left vulnerable to the new world experience relying on all the other confined souls to help guide and unearth our divine liberation. Is it a challenge we sign up for when we enter a human life ? A challenge to see on a micro level how beauty from love can be unearthed in all the small and most tragic ways ?

There is no one explanation for any of this life , it is literally each and everyone's experience . Some will live in struggle and darkness feeling every raw emotion the soul emits from this life's weight. Yet others will flow through hitting the bumpers and pot holes and be supported to rise and readjust course with some fluidity that will keep them moving. For the stuck ones they will fester in awareness of their fester , don't you for a second believe nothing is happening with them, their pause is their recovery. Their darkness will allow for an amplified light that can be only experienced through this difficult obstacle course, it is the most glorious relief when it is experienced.

Judgment , acceptance, hatefulness , love , angst, beauty and evolution will all simmer and stir and spit out an end result; the legacy of your soul and impact of your journey resonating in years behind your departure through ebs of vibration we've imprinted in others. Finality a cruel joke fueling fear and immobility for some , for others inspiration and catalyst.

My journey an irony as well , a child knowing her voice , nicknamed by her own mother "Dreqi (Devil)", "Grajz (wasp)" and "gjarpnit (snake)" because of the shake of my head, clench of my body , defiant tone and quick reactive instinctual snap against all things around me that told me stop being free, be a girl and be obedient, "you will respect our word and do as we say until you go to your husband and then do what he says"; so ridiculous now as I write it but so threatening and oppressive when I lived it at 5/6/7 years old through 20 when I was forced walk away.

We maybe silenced temporarily in this human journey , made to pause, so we can grow and muster up all our intrinsic powerhouse of divine beauty inside our human bodies, doing this with other human bodies in the same cycles perhaps all at different paces from different circumstances and challenges to evolve. We stir and fight and love and hate to live in the beauty of what we know came before, to share in the proof here on earth as can not be experienced in heaven.

Somehow I could never be shushed , made quiet for long periods of time perhaps by myself and the influence of the struggle and darkness of others, but never shushed for long 🙏♥️