Legacy

We would call him Daja(uncle) because we were told he was too young to be a grandpa, however , I think it was more because his brother was childless and for the same reasons his kids called him by his name (Hy)sen, he didn’t want him to feel the sting of absence every-time he was called something he was without, this is selflessness and love.

Growing up my grandparents lived in Sunnyside, Queens and we would spend many wonderful days escaping there with our mom being with our aunts , uncles and cousins. Some of my fondest childhood memories are there scraping our knees in city cement park pools, frequenting Chinese bodegas where we’d get candy, hello kitty swag and teen beat magazine before indulging 75cent slices at the walk up pizza windows. Nothing better than topping off a long hot city summer day

with 35cent lemon Italian ices served up in tiny white paper dental cups, the sticky sugary mess dripping down our sun drenched child arms♥️♥️♥️

There is one day that stays soooo imbedded in my mind, my Grandpa saw me sitting alone in the living room playing with my Barbie and asked if I wanted to go for a “hum-burger” , I’m not sure why I wasn’t with the other kids that day but what I can remember is on the outside I seemed calm and timid as I nodded yes but the inside of me danced in joy and excitement perhaps my soul understanding how magnificent this moment was going to sit in my being, in my life for all of eternity. My grandfather was just someone you knew was extraordinary by being in his presence , no pretext or judgement just intelligence and compassionate strength. I would have never said ‘no’ to an adult at this age but I would never have wanted to in this situation. I knew this was going to be a an epic memory before memories even existed for my seven year old mind.

Hand in hand my grandfather and I started out, me in total adoring awe of his tall regal stature compared to my little body, gentle in his grip and soft in his stride. He was a quiet man, humble but everything about him was movie star grand. I wished the restaurant to be farther away so I’d have more time in this moment.

What felt like one long avenue and a quick dip under the L train straight upto the counter, as quickly as he ordered a brown plastic tray passed right to his hand with four white paper wrapped hamburgers. Confused I followed my grandfather back towards the doors we just entered; as if it was always planned before we left, without uttering a word, he passed hamburgers into the hands of two young, what my family called “gypsy/Roman”, children in slightly tattered clothing brushed in just a hint of a layer of dust standing off to the right corner of the entrance . I hadn’t even noticed them by the door immersed deliciously still in the awe and love of the entire moment. And just like that he showed me why my soul knew his magnificence and beauty.

This is what a healthy foundational moment looks like in childhood. It’s almost unnoticeable to most but so profound to a child. Thank you my Daja for being an example of kindness, empathy, grace and compassion. This is how we carry our loves ones, this is how they live in our hearts 💕

This is legacy.