Abrasively Fake

So I’m kind of a ‘say what you mean' type of person. When I lived in San Diego in early 2000s my supervisor referred to New Yorkers as “abrasive” 🤔 well I didn’t realize the SoCal “continual pleasantness” was to a New Yorker “fake ness” because they would say what they felt behind your back🙄🤔😖

New Yorkers say it like “they” see it and with no animosity most times even when tone seems aggravated , “people we just don’t have time 🤣 this city operates at warp speed” (at least pre-covid - that’s where the change happened everywhere- we all slowed down 🙏),

When there is a reaction we adjust if we are open to hear it. When there is no reaction or hidden reactions no change can happen, at least that’s what I believe. Now I feel a combo of both can yield the best growth in a compassionate way.🙏

Perhaps it’s somewhere in the middle between abrasive-ness and fake-ness we can meet as we work on our tone and delivery. The universe (god- whatever you call it) and our individual energy is constantly smacking us in face with abrasiveness (learning same lessons over and over ) and fake-ness (shock when we finally see what has been revealed but was in front of us all the time just veiled over).

I’m a work in progress learning to “tone it down” while evaluating the things in and out of my control as well as redirecting my energy to areas that are reciprocally beneficial.

Some things you can’t avoid because they just belong to you but along with things you can control we can fine tune how we maneuver around the things we can’t.

People who are afraid of conflict are afraid of growth in my opinion. Those are the people who are uncomfortable in who they are and can’t speak their truth easily either from extreme trauma perhaps or environments that stifled their voice or just not having the coping skills to deal with strong contrary emotional energy. Conflict doesn’t have to always be seen as negative between loved ones, it can surprisingly be an opportunity for growth. 🙏♥️ it’s all perception and willingness in the end. How strong your heart loves, grows and heals. ✨

It comes down to how compatible we are with the people around us that we chose to be in our lives. Do they feed our heart, mind and soul while supporting us to move and grow ♥️🫶🏻

No one should be made to feel bad about their needs and desires if they are aligning with their essence and heart. Their is a delicate dance to be mastered in this life within ourselves and amongst other beautiful souls.

***this text message was to one of two of my most favorite cousins on my paternal side of family this morning - she thought I was telling her to take a stance on something that’s very difficult to do and I was just sharing with her my feelings 🙏♥️ “cultural pleasantries” that continue systemic trauma and abuse are soooo over for me 💪🏻♥️ let the healing ❤️‍🩹 begin for all who want better 🙏 🇦🇱🕊🕊🕊🕊